We Drank From the Hose and Did Our Chores. It's Time to Bring That Back.
Short answer: kids today aren't softer. The rule we grew up with, chores first and then TV, just got easy to skip once every kid had a screen in their pocket. Bring it back: daily chores that aren't optional, no paying for the basics, and screen time that's earned after the work is done.
If you grew up in the 80s or 90s, you remember the deal.
You drank water from the hose. You left the house in the morning and came home when the streetlights came on. Nobody tracked your location. Nobody texted you to check in.
But before any of that freedom, the chores got done. Trash out. Dishes put away. Room picked up. If they weren't done, the TV stayed off, and tomorrow's freedom was on the line too.
Freedom and responsibility came as a package. You didn't get one without the other.
And we knew better than to make anyone ask twice. We knew the consequences. Today, a lot of homes don't even ask once, and it shows in the instant-gratification, entitlement culture our kids are growing up in. That's not their fault. It's ours, and we can fix it.
We didn't get softer. We let the screens in.
I don't buy the idea that our generation went soft, or that today's kids are lazier than we were. I think something simpler happened.
Technology crept into every corner of family life, ours included. The TV used to live in the living room, where Mom could see it. Now every kid carries one in their pocket, along with every friend they have, every game, every feed. And the chore chart quietly lost.
Most families I know either don't have a chore chart anymore, or they have one that never actually gets finished by the kids. Life gets busy. It's faster to just do it yourself. One skipped chore turns into a skipped week, then a habit.
In one survey, 82% of adults said they had chores growing up. Only 28% said they ask their own kids to do them (here's what the research actually says). That gap didn't come from parents who stopped caring. It came from parents who got tired of fighting a screen every afternoon.
Stop paying kids for ordinary responsibilities
Here's where I'll be blunt. Somewhere along the way, a lot of us started paying our kids to do the normal, everyday, ordinary things that come with living in a house.
Feeding the dog isn't a job. Putting away your own laundry isn't a gig. Taking out the trash isn't a side hustle. Nobody is going to pay them to do any of it at 25, and the dishes will still need doing.
When we pay for the basics, we teach kids that pitching in is optional, something you do when the price is right. That's backwards. The basics are the price of admission. Extra jobs can earn money. Everyday responsibilities earn the freedom that comes after them, exactly like they did for us. (More on how we split paid and unpaid chores.)
What happened when we brought the old rule back
Our house has 11 pets: three dogs, a cat, three fish, two lizards and three gerbils. That's a lot of food bowls, water dishes, cages and scooping, every single day.
For years it all ran on reminders. My reminders.
So we brought back the rule I grew up with and made it automatic. The apps on our kids' phones stay locked until the day's chores are done and there's a photo to prove it. No chores, no apps. Chores done, apps open.
The results surprised even me. Almost immediately:
- all 11 pets were fed and cared for,
- laundry got put away,
- dishes got done, and
- the trash went out,
without a single debate. The kids don't complain. They just get it done, because they know that's what it takes to get to their apps. It's the same deal I had with the TV, updated for a world with a screen in every pocket.
Chores aren't small things
It's easy to treat chores as the little stuff that can slide when life gets busy. I think that's the mistake.
Chores are where kids first learn that some things just have to be done, whether you feel like it or not. That an animal depends on you. That a house only works when everybody in it pulls some weight. Those lessons don't stay small. They grow into how a person shows up at a job, in a marriage, for their own family.
My dad always says, "You don't own things. Things own you." Stuff takes care. Homes take work. Pets need feeding whether or not there's a new video to watch. If we don't teach the next generation to respect the everyday chores of life, the ones that simply have to be done, we're raising people who expect someone else to do them.
Consider this your wake-up call
This is the kick in the pants I needed, and maybe you do too. Not more guilt. Not a fancier chart for the fridge. Just the old deal, enforced every day:
- Chores first. Every day, same list, not optional.
- Don't pay for the basics. Save money for real extra jobs.
- Freedom is earned. For our kids that freedom is their apps. For us it was the TV and the street.
- Let the rule be the bad guy. When it's automatic, there's nothing to argue about.
We turned out fine because somebody expected something of us. Our kids deserve the same.
Questions parents ask
Are kids today lazier than past generations?
We don't think so. The bigger change is that smartphones made the old rule, chores first and then screens, easy to skip. When the rule is enforced every day, most kids step up.
Why did families stop doing chore charts?
Busy schedules and constant screens made daily enforcement exhausting, so many parents started doing the chores themselves. In one survey, 82% of adults had chores growing up but only 28% ask their own kids to do them.
Should parents pay kids for everyday chores?
We recommend against paying for ordinary responsibilities like feeding pets, putting away laundry or taking out trash. Save money for extra jobs, and tie everyday chores to freedoms kids already want, like screen time.
How do you bring back old-school chores?
Keep a short daily list that isn't optional, define what done looks like, don't pay for the basics, and make screen time something kids earn after chores are finished, so the rule enforces itself.
Let the rule do the nagging
ChoreScroll locks the apps you choose on your kid's iPhone until today's chores are done. They snap a live photo, AI checks it, and the apps unlock. Free for up to 2 kids, no card needed.
Get ChoreScroll on the App Store